Colder Than California

ink all over my body

2011-08-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

so, i'm getting a new tattoo... or maybe it's two tattoos. you can be the judge of that later. the last tatt i got was a replica of the one my cousin has - because the boys in our family have some silly "family tatt" that the girls aren't allowed to have, OR WHATEVER - so we started one for the girls. clever. i know!

the one(s) i'm getting next is one of a kind. designed by the fabulous, rapper, blogger, lyricist, leroy loving, robyn m! and here it is... followed by the story behind it.

everybody knows i love music, and that i've thrown away a downpayment on a house traveling to concerts. i'd been thinking of somehow getting that inked on my body, but a little more abstract than just getting "hey i love music!" in fancy script. i hit robyn up on the google chat and told her i wanted to get "california" on my left wrist and "carolina" on my right wrist, which would mean that i travel from coast to coast listening to music.

if you're wondering why those two states (even though carolina is two states): i'm from california so that was logical, plus there isn't much more TO the west coast. as for carolina... there's also this little thing i, and a few hundred other people like to call hotel carolina and it just so happens to be where i had THE TIME OF MY LIFE last year. plus, the two words look similar and i'm all about visual aesthetics.

then robyn... why do i keep calling her robyn like her name ain't tots... tots was all: you should connect the words with arrows and x's. and i said: with music notes, son!

and then she just drew it up for me. we made a few tweaks here and there, et voila!

so, as you can see, there is a treasure trail (map line thingy?) marked with music notes along the way that connects the two coasts. and if you know me at all. at all at all. you know that i'm always in some other place at some concert and that this is perfectly indicative of me.

now, to find enough time to get these done. and to figure out if it's two tattoos or one.

**and just as a post script, when i showed that picture to my brother, he pointed out that it looks like a person's back. it's not. those are the wrists held together, in case you weren't paying attention.

the north of carolina

2011-07-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

oh hey... i'm here. i drove. all the way across the country in my car. most of the way with my brother. and the last stretch by myself. ugh.

my car needs some loving devotion now and i'm not done unpacking after being here for a week already but i'm here.

pics to come soon. but right now it'd just be pictures of boxes. so glamorous.

also, it's like 1,000,000,000 degrees outside. with 9,998% humidity so there's that.

a gypsy's gotta eat

2011-06-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

oh hey guess what... i'm moving again!

i know i know i know... i'm a california weather baby and haven't we already been over this and what the hell? i know. but it's different this time:

1) i'm not just moving because i feel like it
h) i already have a job there - because i'm moving for my job
%) i'm coming back in like a year or something

so, say what now?

i'm a nanny (in case you aren't up on the up stuff) and the family i work for - who are the best people in the world - are moving to north carolina and i'm going with them. so on july 18th, i'll be getting in my car and driving across the country to meet my extended family/bosses at our new location. raleigh-durham eat your heart out!

i'll get back to blogging here regularly since i'll be spending less time being social. but for now, let's start with the thing that happened today. i was going over my budget for the next 30 days and trying to be sure i could afford the gas it takes to drive clear across the country (it's gonna be tiiiiiiight [donations graciously accepted]), and also watching extreme couponing at the same time. and while there's no way i'm going to get up and start clipping coupons like a crazy person i do need to tighten up my purse straps.
my first thought was, "what food do i have in the kitchen that i can eat?". i'm going to have to throw it away when i leave anyway so i might as well just eat it right? i didn't think i had much in there. i never think i do. maybe some crackers and a few bags of rice or something. usually i take a look in there and deduce that there isn't anything i can make a meal out of and head out to the store or to panera bread.

uh

no

as i was going through the kitchen - where i haven't been in quite some time... possibly months - i came to the conclusion that i don't need to go shopping for food at all. so now, i'm challenging myself to stick to that. i'm going to eat all of this food in the next 30 days and i'm going to like it. or maybe i'm just going to complain about it but either way... no grocery shopping*.

here is the list of food i already have on hand, i didn't include spices but i have pretty much all of them:
#chicken breasts (4)
#sandwich bread thins (6)
#lunch meat
mayo
bbq sauce
#smoothie mix
#pineapple sausages (2)
tortillas (4)
organic salted butter (3 sticks)
jelly
oatmeal (45 individual packets - IT WAS ON SALE AND I ATE HALF OF WHAT I BOUGHT BEFORE I GOT SICK OF OATMEAL - don't you judge my life)
popcorn (5 bags)
ranch dressing
apple poppyseed dressing
ramen (1)
tomato bisque (1)
100% pure pumpkin (1)
chili (1)
peanut butter
brown rice (4 2-serving bags)
white rice (1 2-serving bag)
ritz crackers
spanish rice (1 4-serving bag)
instant sweet potatoes (1 2-serving bag - i was experimenting)
jell-o pudding mix (1)
jell-o mix (1)
honey
fettucini
caramel
rice krispies
honey combs
honey nut cheerios
apple cinnamon cheerios
honey bunches of oats
gold fish (half a costco sized box left)
freeze dried fruit crisps (8 packets)
triscuits
baby bell cheese (3)
apple sauce (1)
dried sweetened cranberries
raspberry vinaigrette dressing
peppermint candy (1 in the shape of a shot glass... weird)
cotton candy vodka (full bottle)
wine (3 bottles)
green tea bags (~100)
country time strawberry lemonade powder
hot chocolate packets (didn't count them cause it's too damn hot for hot chocolate)
crystal light on the go (14)

who knew i was sitting on an entire kitchen full of food?

wish me luck!

# = frozen
*i AM going to buy 2 cases of water, an additional package of chicken breasts, a pack of sandwich thins, and lettuce for salads because they are all crucial things i don't have on hand. oh and probably milk.

adult. words.

2011-05-16T09:38:00.001-07:00

words, words, words.

so many words. about what's its like to be an adult. because you know, that's what i am now. know how i know?

the words.

words about how i stayed up as late as my mind wanted to this entire weekend. went to sleep with the sun on the eastern horizon and felt good about it. felt empowered by it until this morning when i had to get back to real life and wake up like a damn adult with a job. the job because of bills. the bills because of being an adult.
i ate whatever i felt like eating this weekend. i have words about that too. because i ate a few big ass cookies. and because i ate french fries, french toast, fried chicken, and cheese. and now i feel like trash. my insides literally feel like trash because i did whatever i felt like doing. because i made decisions to act like i was 19 for the long weekend. trash, because i'm so far removed from being 19.

words and trash.

because in every day life i pick the salad. i enjoy the salad. its not that terrible really. and i go to sleep as early as i can possibly manage as a true night creature. and i get by.

now because of the words that i muttered when my alarm clock went off this morning i know that i am truly, really an adult.

those same words that i am being repeatedly urged not to use on social media sites and here... right here where what you should be getting is ME. i apparently cannot be the me that i want to be. i must be the me that is the adult and not use these words. but that's not ME! i think...

i'm the me that wants to use the words i'm finally allowed to use because i'm an adult but that i am an adult so i know better than to use them.

so there's the adult conundrum. to be or not to be... me? goddamnit i just want to say "fuck" on the internet and not lose out on opportunities because it shows that my personality is fatally flawed. what the fuck ever happened to the symphonic poetry of expression with these fucking words?

champagne life on a champale budget

2011-04-05T11:12:00.001-07:00

i've developed some sort of reputation of being a diva. on the grounds that i like nice things, i guess. sure, whatever, i once walked into a store, picked up a pair of sunglasses and told my friend that i wanted those "exact glasses, just more expensive".

to the lady working there at the no name surf shop who was offended...

it's my prerogative, thanks.

but anyway... my friends won't ever let me away from my "orange county-ness" and so i guess i'll just accept it. therefore, here is the first - and possibly only - installment of "things that are acceptable to me". let's talk about hotel rooms.

if you're gonna travel with me, there are a couple of things you need to know before we even get on the internets and try to book travel. specifically, you need to know the difference between a hotel and a motel. if you don't... STOP RIGHT THERE... you're going to hate me even more than my friends do before you get to the end of this post. i'm not staying in a motel ever.

never ever.

nope, not even then.

if the best a place can do for me is leave the damn light on, then i'd rather they didn't.

and it goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway, the word hostel? does.not.compute.

now that we've ruled out any place where the room doors are outside and the rates are posted on a lit up billboard on the side of the highway, let's get in to hotels. know your stars. 1 star is a motel in disguise. 2 stars just means they have an in-ground pool and possibly a bathrobe. 3 stars is where i will start considering staying.

3 stars looks something like your local marriott or doubletree. they are plenty nice. all of the amenities you need... coffee - either a maker in the room or a starbucks in the lobby. a warm chocolate chip cookie at check in.

for your 4 star research take a look at the w hotels. above and beyond everything you'll ever need. a spa. cabana. and a policy that pretty much states they'll do anything you request. this is preferable, because if i want to watch a particular dvd in the middle of the night i want to just call the front desk and have them bring it to me.

5 stars like say the intercontinental, and those who claim to be above that, which doesn't actually exist: these places and their staffs will blow your mind... the first time you stay there. after that you will look down at the places your friends choose to stay. not only will they accommodate anything you want, they probably already thought of it before you got there. in fact when you dine at their in-house restaurant, you don't even need to bring money, they just charge it to your room. forgot your room number? no matter, they already know who you are anyway. really... try it. i do it all the time to feel important.

so now that you know, which hotels are which, how can you decipher if they are telling the truth on the internet when you're trying to reserve a room?

1) name recognition
the easiest way to be sure is to pick a hotel with a recognizable name. they tend to be the same nationwide. if you've stayed in one, you've stayed in 'em all... kinda...
2) check the pictures
on the website, look at all of the pictures they post of the joint. if they only have one and its of the lobby, no matter how awesome it looks, do not stay there. in fact if there is no picture of the guest rooms and bathrooms, do not stay there. (read to the end for tips on what to look for in these pictures)
3) read reviews
check on sites like expedia or citysearch or hotels.com or whatever for reviews from people who have stayed there. typically people only review a hotel if their stay was awful or awesome. if a hotel has no reviews, its likely just alright. if there are a bunch of terrible reviews look at the date. check to see if a manager from the hotel ever replied to the people complaining. if they have, chances are you'll be alright staying there (you, not i)
4) look at the price
hotels know when they're no good. if the price on their website looks to good to be true, its because their elevators don't work, they are putting you on the 12th floor and they can't get rid of that sewer smell for the life of them. but it sure looks nice!

but how can i afford this? you ask...
become the priceline negotiator! i know you're thinking its not cool because you don't know which hotel you're staying in exactly. here is the simple but very slightly time consuming solution to that problem. go to priceline and narrow down your choices. for myself i put in 3.5 stars in a certain area. see which hotels come up and then look at each one. if they all look acceptable, i continue on to "name your own price". if they aren't acceptable, i increase my star level and re-search.

when you place your bid, lowball as much as possible. i have gotten 4 stars for $60 a night. that's ridiculous. but its true. the worst that can happen is they say no. once, i bid $55 for a 4 star in san diego. my bid was rejected but the system asked if i'd like to re try for $65 a night. success! bet you were gonna start bidding at $100.

lastly, about those pictures: remember that they put the best possible pictures up to reel you in. things may have changed so its important to pick up the subtle clues from the tiny details.

~ look at the lobby. is it decorated or does it just have the essentials? decorating with frivolous things like flowers, fancy books and chandeliers means they go the extra mile.
~ look at the bed. does it have a duvet? if they are still using bedspreads, they are also still using mattresses from the 1980's.
~ look at the drapes and carpet. if there's a floral print anywhere... abort abort abort! seriously. just do it. they probably haven't cleaned that stuff since ever.
~ look at the bathroom. does the toilet seat form a complete circle or is one of those u shaped ones with the gap in the front? toilets don't cost that much and if they skimped there... they likely also have 1 ply toilet paper.
~ look at the tv. is it a flatscreen? if not then you probably also don't have an alarm clock that docks your ipod. just sayin.
~ lastly, what other things do they show you a picture of? if you're staring down the vending and ice machines... that's the best frill they have to offer you. if you're into cheetos and coke, then its all good. but if not, look to see if they have pictures of their awesome spa-like showerheads, their name brand soaps and lotions or the view.

the coolest things i've ever experienced at a hotel were: 3 a.m. cheeseburgers from room service after we casually mentioned to the front desk they should bring us some stumbling through the lobby, delivered with a smile... and they were delicious. being picked up from a different hotel by the hotel's rolls-royce when transferring. and the pillow concierge. they had a menu. you can fill it out with the choices you'd like to try. a man with a cart of pillows appears at your door. when you lay down in your bed, he places one after the other behind your head until you find the one that's just right for you. then you can have as many as you'd like, and he returns with his white cape made of goose down feathers to whence he came.

get on my level.

2011 is shaping up!

2011-01-17T13:41:00.001-08:00

We are only a few weeks into the year but, I'm liking where we are heading.

Just yesterday I bought my first car. Literally. I've never had to pay for a car myself before (color me lucky). I'm finally getting back to one of my favorite places, The Vegas... and for superbowl weekend at that! And, I'm also going to see Jonny Lang at the end of the month. And tonight I'm going to my first drag show ever. Those bitches betta werk! I know some incredible people is all I can say.

Plenty more things are planned for the rest of the year but I'm focusing in what is right in front of me. I'm also choosing not to pay any mind to the negative things that have happened so far this year because I can't control whether other people are considerate or not.

Bring on the rest of the month!

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things i hate about my htc evo 4g

2010-12-15T16:24:00.001-08:00

let me just start by saying the phone, on a whole, is amazing. pretty much the only thing it CAN'T do is stay charged. coming from a blackberry, i can tell you that android is killing the game. iphone users please stop reading, i'm not going to get into it with you right now about how my phone is better than yours.

however, the way or consistency with which it does certain things is... for the fucking birds. all of these maladies are well documented across the web, hit google up if you don't believe me, so its not just user error here. for instance, currently the weather widget is broken. i don't even need the weather widget, my eyes work, and i can actually feeeeel that its cold. but its screwing up my home screen with its blankness.

but on to the more important broken or f'ed up things. firstly, all of these damn apps that came pre-installed... PLEASE GO AWAY. fine sprint, you don't want me to get rid of your kevin harvick winston/Nextel/whatever else NASCAR app, but i don't give three fucks about four fucks about cars driving in a circle all day. i certainly don't need to hear about it on my phone. since phone companies can't be expected not to be greedy bastards (btw, what does sprint get for putting that shit app on my phone? i've never opened it, not even on accident) imma need htc or android to step up and help me hide this app. that's literally about the only thing blackberry still has the market on. hiding apps. mazel blackberry!

god bless the people responsible for getting americans off of aol and that goddamn hotmail - seriously, how can you still be legally allowed to use hotmail? - by forcing gmail onto unsuspecting android upgraders. seriously, hugs from all of jesus's angels to you people. (now if we could just teach grammy how to actually use gmail and to stop trying to put everything in folders) but why, why, WHY does everything have to be so integrated? i have peoples phone numbers in my address book that i don't want. and peoples numbers that i do want... well, i can't change them. or i mean i can but i have to fill out a maintenance request form for president obama to sign and send to congress for review and a 2/3 house vote before it will allow me. seriously, has anyone working for android ever tried to add a second phone number to a contact whose number was already in your phone courtesy of facebook? oh, yeah, that's the easy part. now go make that number you just added the default number to call your little buddy on. yeah that... its also slightly creepy when i put a new contact in my phone and they're already in there and they see that as i'm typing.
and while we're on native application problems... what is the deal with the text messaging? clearly someone in android heaven knows that the fucking text app doesn't work for shit. nothing like sending "penetration tonight?" to your dad because your PHONE selected the contact at the bottom of the screen even though you very clearly selected the one at the top. question, is it my fault or my phone's fault that i don't have the attention span to wait for the sms app to actually load the conversation - or the wrong conversation at it were - after i click on it.

but most importantly, let's talk about the only reason anybody got the fucking evo 4g. the 4g. for which we are forced monthly to pay $10 for even though most of us don't even have 4g service. "but you may accidentally wander into a 4g service area". oh i might, sprint? really? tell me, where is the nearest 4g area to me? oh, its in another state? that's interesting. i hate it when i accidentally wander into another state and don't notice it.
but forget about how i don't live or work or play in a 4g and am paying for 4g service on my badass 4g phone, because turns out they just added 4g in my area, sprint even sent me an email!!! lemme turn on my 4g *clicks 4g widget to turn on* ... searching... searching... searching
4g owner to friend: watch, this is gonna be cool!
searching... searching... searching...
4g owner to friend: haha, just hang on a minute its almost done searching for the fastest network speeds evar!
searching... searching...
AWW FUCK IT. I DON'T NEED THIS 4G SHIT ANYWAY.

oh but i was saying... after my friend goes home and buys his iphone on account of my awesome ass evo can't even get its 4g shit together for long enough to show him how awesome it is, fucking 4g turns on. great. at least I know how cool the damn thing is. oooh buuuut whaaaaats theeee deeeeea... *turns 4g off* why the fuck does it take so long to load any and everything, i thought 4g was FASTER?
that's the problem, webpages load faster but opening the internet takes about as long as it takes to turn on my ibm computer i got in 1991. tell me, what the hell is the point of that. this piece of shit lags like an amputee in a foot race, but only when its on the 4g network where it can perform at lightning speed. i'm not sure what exactly, but somethings a touch off about that.

i was willing to live with the lag and just be pissed off all day while waiting on my phone to catch up to the commands i gave it. but then... oh... right... there's that other thing about how it can't stay connected to 4g for long anyway. everytime i look down at the phone after a minute or two of doing something else, its back in 3g.
...
...

fuck you, best phone ever.

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waste

2010-11-09T12:59:00.001-08:00

anyone who knows me well, knows my biggest pet peeve is when you waste my time.

this is a complex problem. there are different types of time wasters in this cruel world:
PEOPLE WHO HABITUALLY KEEP YOU WAITING
i don't understand which part of being on time is actually difficult. sure there are occasions where traffic, acts of heroism, or plain tardiness happen. but this can't be happening every single time i'm waiting for you. it just can't. that's ridiculous. and if you are going to be late, is it safe to assume you knew BEFORE the actual time we were supposed to meet? in 2010 we have these new fangled things called mobile phones. they allow you to call or text a brief update saying that you'll be a few minutes late. if you plan to be an hour or more late you can just text and say you're not gonna make it, nobody is waiting that long for you.

PEOPLE WHO MAKE OTHER PLANS AND DON'T TELL YOU
sometimes they tell you at the very last minute. and sometimes you find out when they don't show up. either way, wtf? everybody has, at one point or another, ditched a current plan when something better came along. but, apparently nobody knows how to handle this situation. trust me on this one, 100% of the time, it is better to let the person you're leaving in the dust know as soon as possible. maybe not in those words?

THE ONE WHO ASSUMES YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO
these can be tricky because its not as if they flat out say they don't think your life is worth a damn... its mostly action based. but you know it when you see it. it looks a lot like indifference coming at you head on at full speed.

often times there are combo punches. there are people who really do feel their own personal time and agenda are the only things that matter. that's not how the world works, actually. take for example the friend who asked if i was available for dinner one night. i was, and after work i called to arrange the exact time and place, but he was with another friend at the moment and would call me back in an hour. two weeks later i was still waiting on that phone call. ok, now MAYBE he got so caught up in having a good time with his other friend that he forgot, but you mean to tell me that when he sat down to shovel food into his mouth, at any point in those two weeks, he didn't think, "oh shit, i was supposed to call her back so we could grab dinner like i asked her to."?

or what about the one who on a thursday asked me to do something with her on sunday afternoon. sunday afternoon rolls around and she's stuck at work. which is fair enough, but then two hours later when she's free she decides to go somewhere else with someone else and very (very) possibly wasn't even going to say anything about it to me. in fact, had i not asked if she was just leaving i'd likely still be waiting on her.

i have a ton more examples but the point i'm trying for isin both of those examples; my time is clearly not valuable to some people. if i had known friend number one was never going to call me, ever, i would have gone to a concert and dinner with a different friend who asked me. if i had known that friend number two was going to make an executive decision that it didn't matter that i set aside time for her then i would have slept in and then gone to a delicious (so i'm told) luncheon prepared by a celeb chef.

so, what is the solution? value your own time by not using it on people who will waste it. good luck!

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you can't love too much one part of it

2010-09-23T00:10:00.001-07:00

i just want to lay here and type out the lyrics to every john mayer song. maybe not EVERY song, but an unhealthy portion of "heavier things" and older. and a bit of continuum.

i am still stricken by all of it. partially i can admit, its because of the nostalgia attached to hearing these songs live so many times. hitting the road, no matter how far or for how long just to get my fix was such a huge part of my life for so long... even though i am estranged from more than 90% of the people who were my nearest and dearest back then, we still had some amazing times and at the center of it all, at the beginning and end of every night, there was john mayer. but also, its because the man has a way with words. that's clichè i can't help but knowing, but its incredibly the truth. he's the reason someone had to pen the phrase.

i don't like most or maybe secretly, any of his studio recordings, because his live show has ruined my ear. there's nothing wrong with liking his studio albums, or with being a casual fan, but if you do, then you are. in my opinion... which isn't worth much in the real world, but this is my blog.

i'm rambling because i don't know how to quantify this... its like a soundtrack to the beginning of my adult life. when i look back on the good old days "somethings missing" plays in my head, with the rambling in the middle... what y'all know about that? if you can complete the following quote even halfway correctly without reference (as i can) you are my lost half "i've been wandering in my own mind, tryin to figure out the bottom line, for why everything is in a bind..."

but really what i'm trying to say is that, john mayer gets me with his songs, he says everything i've been struggling to say all of these years. except that your body is a wonderland. its more like a tacostand. but even there... i'll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it.
i could quote all night to make my point so i simply won't even get started. you can't build a house of leaves and live like you're...
see, see what i mean?

enough. just know that i'm having a john mayer kind of evening where everything gets self reflective, yet light heartedly witty at the same time, and the soundtrack is amazing guitar solos and an understanding of the fundamentality of music itself.

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the m word

2010-09-20T11:06:00.001-07:00

"and i don't know where you went when you left me but it says here in the water, you must be gone by now... i can tell somehow."

did i just quote a song of desperation love to sum up how i feel about the concept of the weekend? sue me.
the m word, i used to think, got a bad rep. what's so bad about waking up for work the day after two solid days of not doing that? really, its not monday's fault that its the day you have to go back to your own personal version of hell on earth. i personally love my job, but today... TODAY there are a hundred million places i'd rather be. on my drive in, i tried to retrace my steps to find out exactly when everything went so wrong with my week. there weren't many steps to retrace based on the fact that i woke up an hour and a half before i needed to be at work.
here's what i came up with:

i didn't get to take a shower. i managed to wake up on time and twice the same scenario played out like groundhogs day. i rolled out of bed and as soon as my big toe hit the ground a roommate slammed the door to the bathroom shut and hopped in the shower. how does that happen twice in one morning? its fine really, the last shower i had was not even half a day ago and i haven't even been outside of the house since then, just... if i'd have known i was going to be opted out of a shower i would have slept longer.

i woke up to a sloppy room and a mexican radio station. my alarm clock was never intended to be a long term solution to "obnoxious ways to be awoken". it is some $20 contraption which i bought for my desk at my last job so that i could listen to music while i yelled at ungrateful, classless customers bitch about trees not looking like what they saw in the catalogue. side note: its a living breathing tree... i'm pretty sure you don't look like the catalogue version of yourself either. consider yourselves (you and the tree product) equally disappointed with the arrangement. and anyway, i never used this clock radio as an alarm until just recently. and now that i can't return it anymore i've noticed it likes to change my preset radio stations - of which there are only two - by two degrees. instead of ryan seacrest this morning i had a mariachi band. that's scary first thing in the morning. tell me its not. then i stumbled out of bed, literally, because my room is a mess. more than a mess its a FEMA disaster zone. look, i knew it was a mess when i went to sleep but i wasn't allotted any time this weekend to clean it up so i didn't get my usual "start the week fresh" sleep last night. on top of old smokey (the pile of clothes on my floor) i couldn't find any work clothes for a solid 10 minutes. how is that possible.

lastly, once again i wasted an entire weekend and didn't get to do anything on my checklist of things to do. oh and there was a trip to costco during which some lady pretended i rammed her with my cart after i wondered aloud "what the fuck is so complicated about walking into costco?" because seriously, it doesn't need to take an hour to get inside. for the record my cart was nowhere near her. i started to ram into her when she turned around to look at me. but i'm better than that, i keep telling myself.

so yeah, its definitely monday's fault!

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i'm not a good one

2010-09-14T16:26:00.001-07:00

in a conversation the other day, largely fueled by my own curiosity, i tried honestly to define my religion. not the religion i was raised by, or that i participate in now, but my own take on my religion. that feels blasphemous to even write but if we are being honest, everyone has something or some THINGS - principles, rules, ideas - from their chosen religion that they simply do not abide by. if you're going to tell me you don't, you're lying to me and to yourself.

the conundrum i find myself facing is as such:
i am a christian. i was raised in a baptist church and i whole heartedly believe the foundation of what i have been taught. i do not, however believe any of the things said in the church about gay people. i don't think its something that can or should he prayed about. i don't think its something that people choose in order to be "different"... i didn't choose to be straight, i really don't recall ever being given the option. and i certainly don't think its a ticket to hell.
i'm just not convinced that homosexual marriage is or will be the downfall of our society. i don't even know what that means because if you ask me, homosexual partnership is a part of our society, and trying to ban someone from expressing their love the way it is defined by the law is contributing to the downfall. and also... heterosexual marriages create 99% of their own problems without any gay person demoralizing them.

along the same lines... i don't enjoy the thought or act of forcing my beliefs on anyone else. i understand that i am my brother's keeper, i am the company i keep and so forth but my brother is doing just fine for himself. don't get me wrong. i'm willing and able to share my faith with anyone who asks, and with anyone who is lost in the world. its just, when someone doesn't want to convert i can't resort to the scare tactics i'be witnessed being used to cajole people into "believing". it has been said that a christian is Christianity's worst enemy. not all of them (no hate mail please).

and lastly, i don't believe that going to church each and every sunday makes a person a good christian soldier. same as i don't believe skipping it makes them a bad one. if the pastor preaches the word of the lord, i can read the word and get the same message no? there is something to gain from attending service - fellowship, donuts, praise, etc - but those are just bonuses, at the base of it all we are still just trying to walk in the way of the lord and judge not our peers.

but what i'm trying to say is that... i guess i'm not a very good christian because i can't change the way i feel about these things.

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dirty dozens

2010-09-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

at the risk of sounding cliche, i feel so alive. for the first time in a long time actually. my downward spiral is pretty well documented on my private blog, and i've been slowly climbing back up the stairs for about two years now. but after a weekend spent on the isle of palms in south carolina, i'm back at the top of my game! i haven't come down off of my high yet. that was two plus weeks ago.

isle of palms:
last summer i went to a brand new music festival called hotel carolina. i flew half way from california and met up with a friend... or maybe we were acquaintances... actually i think it was somewhere in between the two, and we roadtripped the rest of the way to the atlantic shoreline together. we stayed at a hotel right down the street, and had a great time. we met two other girls who were each there alone but who had met each other earlier in the evening. and one way or another the four of us became friends. good times. but we had a plan for this year... RENT A BEACHHOUSE AND INVITE MORE FRIENDS.
that is exactly what we did. we ended up with twelve people total in a sweet ass beachhouse right across the street from the venue and subsequently the beach. the four of us invited people and some of them invited other people. and that's how we ended up with twelve. i was a little apprehensive about the personalities clashing and there being absolute chaos. we were a newly married couple, a soldier on leave - very freshly so - and his girlfriend, a quirky girl from alabama, two cute girls from the south who enjoy the company of musicians, an obsessed fan (of one of the musicians playing the festival) and her long time male friend (strictly friends, i think they would die if i didn't clarify that) who is absolutely fabulous, and music junkie roommates from southern california. never could we have imagined in any of our wildest dreams we would all get along so well... if by "well" i mean "we are absolutely obsessed with each other".

between late night delirium, all day tom foolery, vivid story telling, and concerting and alcohol we very quickly became each other's best friends. more than that, we are family. how could we not when the leitmotif of the weekend was laughter? we now collectively go by the name "dirty dozen". i can speak for the rest of them from what they've told me, we all feel the same way. i wake up missing them, i go to bed marking another day off of the calendar until i get to see them again. i talk to almost all of them on the daily. and i still can't get enough. two of them are making serious plans to move closer to me as we speak. and it can't happen fast enough. and in fact whenever i recount the weekend i talk for hours and don't even get to the music portion of the weekend. which, for the record, was incredible. i started it off with a quick trip to a gorgeous outdoor ampitheatre to see train (hey soul sista!) and also got to see some old favorites perform, found a new favorite , and got to spend some quality time with one of my oldest, truest, and dearest friends in the world (also a musician on the bill).

since i've been home i've been to a concert an average of every other night. this is not a test. i'm back to the old me. and i feel better about it after having taken time off to grow up. it is good to be back.

coming up next - whenever i can compose myself - actual details of the weekend. special eyes only.

why am i awake?

2010-09-11T03:34:00.001-07:00

and why do i have the sudden urge to start blogging again?

the answer to both questions, of course, is benadryl. not for the faint of heart.

i can't sleep but i'm going to try to anyway, and tomorrow, i will share my world... thoughts... whatever with you. deal?

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If I were John Mayer - a drinking game

2010-08-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

My friend Meredith and I made this game up in 2007, we're bringing it back and sharing with everyone. Please leave a comment if you have questions about the game... or you know, just improvise!

"If I were John Mayer"

This game is simple to play really, and who doesn't want to play another drinking game?

Game play requires at least 2 players (but may be played in teams). The game must always start with "If I were John Mayer", the first player must complete the sentence by using another celebrity that John Mayer can and should say something to, i.e. "If I were John Mayer I would tell Jessica Simpson to put down the bronzer. and the collagen. and the botox. and the peroxide. and the wonderbra."
The quote will then assume one of 3 rankings
-If the quote is funny, the game continues onto the next player who will stick with what John Mayer should say but he must say it to someone else (not Jessica Simpson)
-If the quote is a dud someone can make them take a drink by yelling out "Drink!"
    Player one may contest a drink by taking it to a majority vote:
       If the majority votes that the quote is funny the person or people who instructed the first player to drink must drink instead
       If the majority votes that the quote is in fact lame the first player must drink double
-If the quote is hilarious (you will know when it is) player one gets a point and the next player must continue the game by using the next referenced celebrity, i.e.
Player 1: If I were Katherine Heigl I would tell Josh Kelley that he is not "Amazing"
Player 2: If I were Josh Kelley I would tell...

There is no defined time limit, but this is a rapid fire wit game so if you make the game lag other players can call "Time" at which point you must deliver your quote immediately or you forfeit your turn and must drink for delaying the game.

You may repeat a celebrity if you want to

The second celebrity should be someone the first celebrity could realistically talk to, i.e. "If I were John Mayer I would tell Fergie that there is no 't' in Duchess" John Mayer could conceivably run into Fergie at a music event and teach her how to spell, however "If I were John Mayer I would tell Condoleeza Rice to fill in the gap" is not very likely and needs to be avoided because it makes no sense, though she really should fix the teeth.

A celebrity can be someone infamous as well, but every person in the room must know the person in question and they may not be in the room

If you cannot think of a quote for whichever celebrity you are on you may chose to drink and pass. If everyone in the game takes a 'drink and pass' and play returns to the last player to score a point they may chose another celebrity at random.

A celebrity may tell themselves something if you are playing in teams, i.e. "If I were Brett Dennen I would tell myself that My Buddy dolls are so 1985" (please google image if you don't appreciate this one). This move is particularly risky as it carries double the weight.
-If the quote is funny, you are safe and play continues
-If the quote is lame your entire team must drink and you lose a point
-If the quote is hilarious you gain 2 points and the entire opposing team must drink

The game ends when you are too drunk to continue, it's a good idea to keep track of score on a piece of paper so you'll know who won in the morning. Losing team should proceed to clean up the mess you inevitably created.

I'm About To Mod The Sims 3

2009-09-17T09:27:00.000-07:00

Raise your hand if you love EA and play The Sims with passion. Ok, now raise your hand if you're about to cut a bitch because some of the shit on there just ain't right.

Everyone? K, got it.

Shit I don't like on TS3

The Maid:
How come this bitch comes to my house, looks at me, puts her hand on her hips and stomps her foot like I'm an inconvenience and then leaves, takes $125 (simoleons) with her and acts like this is a job well fucking done? And how come sometimes they send a dude over and he's not wearing a french maid get up? This is bullshit and I'm gonna mod this to get my cash money back. I need a mod that makes my Sim act like my dad in real life and come and inspect the cleaning before the maid can leave with the money.

Pool Parties:
Maybe I want to invite some neighborhood friends over to get in my pool. I throw a party, ask them to wear their bathing suits, and then they show up and want to play with my virtual reality games and sit their bum asses down at my laptop like they don't have their own at home (maybe they don't but I don't recall anyone asking could they get on my shit like that). I asked you to come over here with your bathing suits on so we could get in the pool. Don't get mad and leave because I'm not paying attention to you when I jump in. I tried to ask if you would join me but do I really need to hold your hand that much? WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I TELL YOU TO WEAR THAT? Get your ass in the pool and let's play chicken before I mod this game and make you fall in on accident and drown.

Dad is a CockBlocker:
So, I'm the teenage daughter out on the front porch tryin' to hook it up with this guy and Dad comes outside like "hey guys long time no see?" and starts up a convo. Now boyfriend stops "gazing into my eyes" so he can talk to my asshole dad about football or some such shit. And then when they are done talking Dmitri runs off like he's late for happy hour at the town brothel. How am I supposed to get a "first kiss" and how does he ever expect to marry me off? Look Dad, if you want to blow Dmitri on the porch be my guest but I'm trying to learn this life skill myself, and don't you think Mom might have an opinion on this? Dad's getting mod'ed to have the "mind own fucking business" option.

But most of all the Fucking Babysitter:
This mothafucka... someone please tell me why this little asshole - shouldn't he be at school anyway - comes over to watch the babies because heaven forbid they learn a little independence or have to fend for themselves once in a while - and then he either waits OUTSIDE THE GODDAMN HOUSE UNTIL I GET HOME, or plays with all of the fun shit I've worked so hard to buy for my house like the stereo, the laptop, the foosball table... or like the one time I catch him in the pool. What the hell? You wouldn't get in when I invited you to the pool party but you will now?

Things I don't expect my $75 a day whether I'm gone for an hour or twelve hired help to be doing when I check in on them:
- staring at my kid while she screams in her crib because she's starving, has a dirty diaper on, and needs some attention
I potty trained her for a reason, if you just let her out of the fucking crib she'd at least go to the potty on her own you lazy asshole.

- complaining that my kids are cranky and crying
IT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB TO MAKE THEM STOP. Maybe a little less time napping on my couch and a little more time watching my kids would give you less to complain about hmm?

- eating my food, playing on my laptop which you'll probably steal eventually, leaving messses throughout the house
Normally I wouldn't mind but you're not even doing what you're supposed to be doing, cut out all of the extra-curricular shit, especially since you seem to be in cahoots with that lazy good for nothing maid of ours and that means that I am gonna have to come home and clean this shit up. I'm not in the mood.

And lastly, your cutesy little line, "Looks like I'm all done here, that'll be $75!" is a farse. Actually, looks like you didn't do shit besides keep social services from showing up for a few hours longer than they would have if I'd left the kids home alone. Looks like you are an asshole I should murder. In fact, yes, I'm going to mod The Sims, murder your ass and bury you in my backyard so my kids can stomp on your face. Shit, if it comes down to it I'll burn my whole goddamn house to the fucking ground while you snooze on my couch and my baby cries for a bottle. Then I'll visit your gravesite and piss on your headstone. It's time to upgrade our digs anyway... if I take the smoke detector with me when I leave tomorrow, you should be worried assmunch.

Not Colder Anymore

2009-05-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

let us talk about the weather shall we? it's warm now... which is fine. it's also like 99% humidity. or whatever the highest amount of humidity you can have without the actual rain is. its kinda ridiculous and i'm trying to understand WHY such weather exists. i've experienced this before, like down south, but i guess i've just never stopped to ponder it at all. today it's raining. which hopefully means that tomorrow it won't be as humid as seems to be typical.

as i type this the" jon and kate plus 8" marathon is on. their kids are sooooo cute. i seriously want an asian baby. i feel like i've watched enough of this show to be able to tell their 8 kids apart. i mean they're all fraternal. the twins cara and mady are identical fraternals (i think) but mady has an awful attitude about everything in life so i only need to hear one of them speak or make a face at something to tell them apart. of the sextuplets the boys are easy. aaden has on glasses. collin has a round face (and looks like he might have been hannah's twin) and the other one then is joel. and the girls, well, hannah is my favorite, she's got the round face. but leah and alexis... hmmm, i've concluded that leah has the rounder face of the two and alexis has the flatter face of the two but unless they're standing next to each other i'm ashamed to say i have no idea which one is which most of the time. not that anyone cares, i just wanted to mention that. anyway, tonight is the first meeting for jon and kate who are on the verge of a very public relationship destruction exravaganza. i'm kinda sad for them, but very curious to hear both sides. without knowing either side i feel like i'm on jon's side. somewhow i feel like this is kate's fault. thats the way the show displays their characters. there might be a spinoff called "jon on his own" or "kate with a lot of kids" perhaps "jon every other weekend and most holidays" - i mean i can do this all night -coming next season. possibly all of those.

nba: it's hard to say which two teams are going to end up in the finals right now. apparently both the ECF and WCF are going to end up in 7 game drag em out knock em down fights to the end. thats kind of silly since both the cavs and the lakers were supposedly sooo much better than all of their other competitors (except the c*ltics) but the drama is welcomed. last year's playoffs were really boring agreed?
i should give nike basketball a shoutout for their awesome most valuable puppets commercials featuring kobe bryant and lebron james.

it's memorial day weekend - where memorial day is observed. i feel the need to point out every year that memorial day is not the last monday of the month, it's actually on may 30th, but it's just so inconvenient to honor soldiers by barbecuing, getting drunk, and passing out on random days of the week so we as a country decided it'd be better to do it on a monday and have extra days off of work. works for me! but wouldn't it be nice if everyone took a second on the REAL memorial day to at least think about the soldiers who died so they could have an exta day off of work every may?

that's enough random thoughts for the day.

LOVE, LOVED, LAKERS

2009-04-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

i have a new found love for cherry 7-up. this is surprising because for the past couple of years i've been a non-soda drinker. honestly, i went a good couple of years without any. and aside from the occasions when i was throwing parties, i never had any in the house when i lived in san diego. but for some reason, i can't go without soda right now. i'm sure it's just a phase i'll grow out of but my word do i LOVE cherry 7-up, and it's even got antioxidants in it! can't beat that. this may be replacing my green tea obsession. we'll find out.

i found a new band recently. they are called "the script". i heard their single and thought it was pretty neat but today i was watching a show on mtv and they played another of their songs and i LOVED it so i went to go check out the rest of their album and it's like magic pixie dust dancing around in my ears. ok, i'll admit that maybe their irish accents have a little to do with that. everyone who knows me, knows that i'm a complete sucker for accents. doesn't matter what kind really, but i'm partial to the southern accent last heard on one mr. charles kelley (now of the band lady antebellum). and of course the french accent is tops.

speaking of french accents. might i suggest a little gilles marini? i'm reading that he appeared full frontal nude in the sex and the city movie. interesting. but i watch him every week as he makes the ladies swoon and the gentlemen blush on dancing with the stars. check his argentine tango for an example.

ok, so none of that has much to do with me. i think i just wanted to point out that i watch a lot of tv these days. i can't help it if i didn't know there were so many awesome people to watch until now. speaking of watching tv. the playoffs begin tomorrow. i've been waiting since june for this moment to get here. lets! go! lakers! figueroa has been lonely for too long. i'm ready for a parade, i know a few thousand other people who are too. first up, utah. it looks bleak for utah based solely on the fact that they are playing the lakers who are in a class all their own in the west.

i think that's enough links to click on. i'm still alive. woohoo!

If You're Not Watching Then You Need To Be

2009-04-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

Oh no! I'm sorry this blog died, I guess that's what happens when the person you live with is a functioning adult and capable of cleaning up after themselves. However... I have a few thoughts and questions on the latest Really Desperate Housewives of NYC: Where er'rybody is fightin' wit er'rybody else. And I can't really think of better place to ask these questions because watching what went down this week was a lot like having a dirty roommate, utterly ridiculous!

(And just as a major sidenote - no I didn't forget to finish this blog, there are a few more entries that need to be added still, because nobody likes an unfinished story, but I'm simply too lazy to finish writing them yet. One day, when you least expect it, it'll be there. Like BAM!)

RAMONA
We start tonight with Ramona taking Kelly to the Badgley Mischka show at fashion week. They take their front row seats and Kelly tells Moanz all about how she's really awesome and leathery but she doesn't like Bethenny because she has better skin than her and supports charities and likes Madonna and such. Moanz thinks maybe Beth is jealous or something. Pshhh! That'd be like Kelly being jealous of Ramona. No way... Moanz' skin isn't nearly as leathery and blotchy as Kelly's. Sister is gonna have to put a lot more miles in the sun on that face before she can be as awesome as Kelly. End of story. Ramona knows this, and doesn't take offense. She also wants us to know that she is a "good reader of character". Kelly wants us to know she "graduated from high school a long time ago", noted. After the show, she asks Kelly for some advice on how to handle the social awkwardness between her and Simon. Kelly has years upon years of experience with social faux pas at awesomely put together parties where everyone is always taking her picture and not allowing her to do her work ever, so naturally she tells Ramz to play nice or something like that. Ramz tries to tell Kelly that Bethenny has had a rough life and she should cut her some slack. Kelly doesn't care if she grew up in the woods with like trees and bears and stuff, she's Kelly Killoren Bensimon! and she'll be damned if Bethenny Bear is going to make her feel bad about being really really important. Damned.
The scene ends with Kelly saying, "Life is way too short."

JILL
Moving right along, Jill's apartment is almost done being remodeled. Only in New York do the fabulously wealthy live in apartments. We won't talk about how they went over budget on the remodel that looks like I probably could have put it together with my eyes closed. She let her gay husband, B-rad be in charge of the project because what good is a gay bff if they aren't going to be fabulous and redecorate your house? We're just not going to talk about it. But can I get a "Hell Yeah" to Bobby being the best husband on this show? He's awesome and Jewish and awesome.

ALEX
Now it's time for Alex and gay but not gay Simon. Look, I don't have a problem with people being gay just like I don't have a problem with people being straight. But, if you're going to be gay why waste time pretending to be straight? Go out and be wild ::high kicks::. Or at least teach your "wife" how to use a flat iron. The Van De Kamps are also renovating their um, house thingy. Simon is totally in charge of it all. It's his house, he knows all there is to know about architecture and color schemes and all the other brilliant sorts of things that go into renovating a house and putting a kitchen upstairs and if girlfriend didn't have a nail appointment in a little bit he'd get some dirt under his nails while digging in his garden, but because he read encyclopedias when he was a child which taught him to be good with numbers and he stores it all up in his brain, along with those books he read on how to be gay but not gay and blame it all on his impeccable fashion sense all at the same time. Some guy with some stones and color samples asks the most well behaved genius babies on the planet, Frankoyz and Joe Han what they like. They like sipping tea during their Finnish lessons on Tuesday evenings before their Dutch au pair takes them to their cricket match, either that or Friday nights when they get to read the next chapter of the Iliad in ancient Greek script, which is childsplay so it's a good thing they're getting it out of the way before either of them turns 5.

AND NOW FRIENDS...
I have absolutely no ideas as to how this could have made it's way to the top of the show because it's the grand finale, but strap on your riding boots, this pony show is about to get underway.

Camera one pans in on Bethenny sitting at a table alone, sipping her Skinny Girl Margarita (I think) which is really just a shot on the rocks but it's more lady like to call it something cute. She's been sitting there waiting for Kelly's knee-hi pink goulashes - but hey I like your green angora sweater dress hunny - to strut in for hours, or maybe half of one but either way it's been hours. B thinks K wants to have a sit down talk, K is strictly there to put B on time out.
Kelly stops on the red carpet for a few poses but insists she's trying to work and would everybody PLEASE stop taking her ::a little to the left:: picture! She also thinks it's great (!) that she called a meeting with B and subsequently left her waiting for half an hour, kinda like how she thinks it's so cute that Jill's daughter has creaky legs. SO many reasons to love Kelly. Anyway, I can't do the conversation between these two any justice whatsoever, so I'm literally just going to transcribe it for you, and for me, but mostly for you.

K: Hi how are you?
B: ::Look of confusion::
K: Um.. thanks for coming and meeting with me.
B: Thank you, I've been waiting like a half an hour.
K: Really? That's too bad. Listen, I just want to make something perfectly clear with you so that we're on the same page. We're not friends.
B: Correct!
K: So your attitude is for kids. You wanna play with me, you come up to me, I don't come down to you.
B: 'Scuse me? I don't do anything that you want me to do.
K: Honestly Bethenny...

And just here the crazy pills have set in. She's starting... it's going... let's do this Kelly Killoren Krazy Pill Style!

K: You know what... honestly ::shakes head to stir around krazy pills some more::
B: I'm waiting to hear what you invited me here to say.

So are we B!

K: I will not indulge you in this.

Kelly-English: I'm not telling you shit because I forgot already because I didn't even have a point I just wanted to be on TV some more.

K: Ok? We don't come... we're not the same. Ok? This is you (like waaaaaaay down here by the floor). This is me (up here on top of the horsie that I ride in the Hamptons Classic, did you see me riding this summer?) We don't talk.
B: You're here (you know like above me?) because why?
K: Because I won't put up with your antics and (I have a hard time speaking because my leathery skin doesn't have much give) bullshit. It's just totally inappropriate. And I know that you think it's really cute and fun, but you embarrass yourself... and you really... I felt really bad for you because I was like, "Oh my god that poor girl (who has more money than me because she made it herself instead of siphoning money from her famous ex husband because she was never married to a famous fashion photographer like I totally was and then I kept his last name when we got divorced because his is more famous than mine)."
B: You feel badly for me? We were talking about an arthritis charity and you said, "Oh that's so cute!"
K: You know what?
B: I felt sorry for you.
K: You know what??? The difference between you and me is that while you're busy talking, I'm busy doing things (like talking also, but my words are more important because they mean nothing and even I don't know what I'm talking about) so you need to like... realize the situation.
B: What are you busy doing?
K: We're not friends. I don't like you. I don't think you're funny. I don't think you're charming. I don't... we.are.not.friends. We will never be friends.
B: Correct we won't.
K: Ok good, I'm just glad you understand that (I brought you here specifically because I needed to tell you that we're not friends even though we totally aren't friends and you already knew that because we aren't friends, like my boots?).
B: So you invited me here just to uh... to make yourself feel better?
K: Haha (shit).
B: So you're up here just because you're a model, because you put your name on any invitation because you collect celebrities as friends...
K: Oh really (shiiiiiit).
B: Because you're so much more fabulous? Cause you've met me ten times and you act like you've never met me before?
K: You wanna reflect back (cause the krazy pills only play with my short term memory, I can do this all night)? Let's go down memory lane.
B: Ok!
K: You came to my house with a guy that owned Wire...
B: That you flirted with the entire time.
K: Oh that I flirted with?
B: Yes, yes.
K: With the man that's taking my picture from Wire Image?
B: Yes (you didn't hear me the first time I said it?)
K: I don't think so. He's hired... and I...
B: He wasn't hired actually, he was my boyfriend, he came with me.
K: Oh he came with you? Oh you were invited to my house?
B: Yes by Ginny Hilfiger. She's a friend of mine.
K: Right... ok (shit fuck), well that's great. But you know, Ginny has her opinion of you. I was like, I was so disgusted by your behavior I think it's so inappropriate.
B: My behavior? What... doing what?
K: You tell me doing what.

Stop the fucking madness Kelly.

K: You tell me.
B: Wait, you're making up things just to make yourself feel better than me.
K: No no no... I (something... shit, I what? I um...)
B: It's really hard to watch.
K: Really (for you too?)? I'm making things up? So... let's, let's tell me what happened yesterday. I'm really confused by the whole conversation that you and your little friend had.
B: My little friend?
K: Yeeeeeah.
B: I didn't know her. She didn't know who you were.
K: Oh really (how is that even fucking possible I'M KELLY KRAZY PILLS KILLOREN BENSIMON, MY EX HUSBAND IS FAMOUS AND I NAMED MY KIDS AFTER INANIMATE OBJECTS)
B: She's one of the few people in the world that obviously don't know who you are.
K: And who are you?
B: I'm no one.
K: Oh, so therefore it's your place in life to tell people and make fun of people when you don't even know me? I'm a stranger. I do not know you.
B: You're not a stranger. I met you seven times. You just... I'm not famous enough for you to pay attention to.
K: You know what...
B: You've met me several times.
K: I'm not talking to you, I don't want to know you (but do you think my boots are cute?).
B: You don't have to.
K: You have a great life... later.
And just like that she's gone!

Here's the thing. I wouldn't normally separate what I added to the conversation because it's such hyperbole that it should be easily detected, but... Krazy Kelly adds a whole new meaning to insanity and even I was having trouble remembering which parts I added and which were true. Oh and you thought this girl talk episode was over?

Bethenny slams the rest of her drink home wondering if she's in an episode of the new Reality Show: The Twilight Zone Redux and then proceeds to leave because WTF? On her way out she discovers that Elvis has not left the building yet. First Madonna now Elvis. One more for the road?
K: You! Need! To chill out! ::lurk, lurk, lurk:: You are so inappropriate.
B: I'm completely calm. I'm absolutely calm.
K: Oh my god you're (I'm) so crazy! ::runs to the door, confused:: I gotta go on a date! Bye!
B: With your imaginary boyfriend? Ok.
ZING!

KELL-AMITY JANE
I guess this is her segment of the show. She goes on an awkward "date" with MaxMax. Who I thought was a puppy until I looked up at the screen. MaxMax doesn't speak unto the English too much. But no matter Krazy Pills doesn't listen unto the English too much. Yes, it's a communication issue. She tells MaxMax the story of Bethenny and MaxMax nods his head picturing her boots, which remind him to the Pink Panther, over her head later, how much later is that gonna be he wonders because he can't take much more of her yapping leathery mouth? Kelly thinks B needs to probably take some Class with the Countess because she doesn't want to parent her about proper protocol cause like, she can barely remember whether it's gauche to be late or not... probably not. Right?

RAMONA
Has anyone else ever noticed that her daughter is like the 105 year old lady trapped in a 12 year olds body?
Today, Ramona's husband is "playing tennis" and Ramona is going to watch, and she invited Bethenny. Which I guess means he has to actually play tennis instead of screwing his tennis instructor or instructee, whichever it is. This is apparently a semi-finals event but there are only two people watching, which is a shame because Bethenny re-enacts the meeting with Kelly for us all. The girl needs a mic and an audience, her impersonations are dead on. Starting with how she doesn't put her name on anything ever because she's so busy being photographed at parties while she's trying to work and it's so hard and she barely remembers to take her krazy pills, which don't stop her from being krazy but make her krazy. But first of all B's seen her name on Chinese take-out menus! DOUBLE ZING!
Now Moanz' got both sides of the story and what can she say except that, "Not everyone likes everyone and that's just the way it goes." Except that your husband likes everyone... and that's just the way it goes. Seriously, he's fucking every person you see on this show, except maybe Ramona. Gentleman's Club what?

JILL
Heavens to Betsy! The 800" TV that Jill ordered is too small, or too big or not just right or something, so off to Grandmother's house we go and there are boxes here there and everywhere else, but who on God's green earth is going to fix the problem with the TV? Oy!
Brad tries to Yes Jill to death, but has no idea what is going on other than there are a bunch of sweaty mens with Louis Vuitton real monkey backpacks frolicking around the apartment. Jill calls Bobby who is obviously busy but she needs someone to take the TV away NOW! Yawn. This storyline is really boring, but we love Jill anyway.

RAMONA AGAIN
Mario takes Moanz out to dinner and she nails it on the head, "I feel like I'm married to a basketball player or something". But Mario points out that there is a difference between this and that... he plays tennis but he is the Wilt Chamberlain of tennis, and thinks Jill is a prima donna.
When Biggie and Puff said, "Mo money, mo problems" they must have been using these two as a muse. Jill is being uncooperative with Ramz and Mario about setting up a date to play a tennis match which has no benefit other than being a tennis match. Moanz thinks it's ridiculous because she doesn't do anything with her life, Mario thinks Jill should be grateful that he wants to set her up with an amazing tennis pro whom he was playing with just last week, and who happens to be pretty alright at tennis too.
But quick (!) on to the next subject. Tomorrow night is the Page 6 party for people who have lots of money and who have lots of other stuff too. Kelly has written an article in the mag about how she is so amazing and brilliant and suede on the inside and about how she likes having her goggles suntanned onto her face and how she spent the summer hanging out with her friend Sean, you know Puff Daddy... and how she took Ramz and the other girls under her wing and introduced them to fashion so that they could pull themselves out of the trenches and stop dressing like boars. But, oh hell no! Moanz is Miss Fashion. She got her degree at FIT, and has been doing this shit since before Kelly could say "look at me". Ramona has Calvin Klein on speed dial... Macy's signed her high school year book, and look, "I have it right here in my purse, I carry it around just in case, but look, he wrote 'Have a nice summer'." Everybody knows Ramona!!!!
R: Not everybody is as nice as me.
M: I know that's why I married you, I could have married anyone but they wouldn't have let me be in the Gentleman's Club with the Count. You're not a regular wife honey, you're a cool wife! ::wink::

The Countess
LuAnn wears a purple kimono dressy thingy on her date with Krazy Pills, who couldn't be outdone so she put on a see through lace thingy with probably some fishnets and yellow Crocs. They hop in the car and while Driver drives, Kelly complains to LuAnn about how Bethenny wouldn't see things her way and babysit her kids while she was out with MaxMax. You can tell that K thought the Countess (being from the upper crust just like she) would totally take her side in the matter. The Countess proves why we like her despite her insistence that she's more than an American Indian Princess. Facts we learned during Class with The Countess tonight:
- Bethenny didn't attack Kelly at the charity meeting, it was the krazy pills causing delusions.
- Calling a meeting to tell someone that you're krazy and they are less than you is completely unnecessary
- The Countess is wrong, according to Kelly. Everything she says is wrong!

PAGE 6 PARTY
Everyone is here except B. She's not famous enough.

Kelly doesn't have a title but some guy tries to call her Lady Bensimon which doesn't sit well because she is neither a leathery lady nor a Bensimon. Her title is Krazy Pills Killoren.

Alex and Simon arrive and want to know who wants to take their pictures on the red carpet and what day they should expect to look for themselves in the magazines on the newsstands and if BRAVO is going to be filming that day so they can flip through while we watch and make us sad that we don't have our own copies to play along at home, and if Simon should be the woman or Alex... wait, let them switch outfits real quick and you can take two sets of pictures.

The weird guy obsessed with titles is ordered to get drinks for Lady Krazy Kats and The Countess whom he calls The Duchess and thinks he's giving a promotion to, which leads to a cool story because party protocol suggests that you inform everyone about the hierarchy of the French aristocracy even though The Countess seems to not understand too well that a Count and his Countess are nobility not aristocracy, and she also doesn't get that since they are "French" they are the Comte and Comtesse. I digress, but did she ever tell you about how Napoleon was going to give the de Lesseps (correctly pronounced dayLAHsep) a Dukehood and a territory (Suez) but Ferdinand didn't care, he was punch drunk in love with being a Count already so no thanks for the promotion and all that stuff. And now The Nurse is stuck with being the Countess. It's all the same though because what would her book be called then? Don't Lick Your Knife Says The Duchess? And apparently people try to make her feel better about this lowly title by saying they like Countess better. If it ain't Queen take it back!

Jill's here! Now everybody is ready to rumble.
First Moanz wants to know if Kelly went to collage. She went to Columbia. No word on whether or not she graduated, although according to some people I used to know you only have to take one class to be an alumni. But whatevs, Ramona confronts her about writing in Page 6 about how she's so totally > everybody else in the fashion world, because she's not and don't forget Ramona went to FIT. Holla back!
Second up to bat is Jill. Mario is about to throw down with Her Be-furred Highness. The world doesn't revolve around her. You don't decline an invitation to partake in The Mario Singer Golden Cockery Tennis Match and not get a finger wagged in your face on the rooftop at a fancy party for a fancy magazine about fancy people doing fancy things. You just don't. Bobby plays it cool and doesn't interfere, but how much do we all want him to just step in and punch Mario in the face for not inviting him to the Gentleman's Club and for talking to his wife like that, and then simply walk away like nothing happened and the guy on the floor is nobody important. SUKURITY!
Lets get someone set up for a home run and everyone can get in. Simon'll help. He tries to get along with Ramona but Ramz pulls out her Sacred Heart jewels and can't believe that 752 years ago when she invited them to a party in the Garden of Eden Alex came out nude in that trashy tabloid, In Touch the very.next.day! Quell horreur! Her Jesus Christ friends aka The Apostles were not impressed, if by not impressed I mean they totally didn't care or bring it up ever, but Ramona loves Jesus and is better at loving him than Alex and Simon and that is why she doesn't like them. WWJD? He would use Ramona as a spokeswoman to tell Alex and Simon about their wicked ways at the Page 6 party, and he would also use her to tell Simon not to point out her shortcomings and about how she shot a lesbian scene by the pool at her Hamptons home with her Playboy model friend, which later turned into a gang bang when Mario invited some friends over. Simon calls them hypocrites but it's so not true because Simon and Alex didn't even have sex with everyone (or anyone for that matter) on the set of that nude photo shoot so it's not the same thing so take that!

And then like... thats it. But next week B goes to Jill's to get hyphy.

everything is in bloom-ington

2009-03-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

i've actually been a little busy the past month. i hadn't realized that i neglected to write anything here for so long. sorry!!

in addition to normal stuff that people do during the day, i've been (finally) rough drafting a book, and following ncaa march madness with the ESPNers. i don't even want to follow march madness anymore, after UCLA broke my freakin heart! and consequently ruined my bracket. look, i knew picking them to win it all was like trying to double down with the rent money, but i was certain they'd make it to the final four. they didn't even make it to the sweet sixteen. what is THAT? but i had to keep following so i could participate in the discussion i agreed to do last month!

speaking of broken hearts and basketball... i have some seriously mixed emotions about our beloved lakers. on the one hand, they've had an incredible season so far, right now they stand at what? 58-15. that ain't too shabby. and it's good for something crazy like second in the league and insurmountable in the western conference. that's good. that's damn good. unless you're a laker fan. it's kinda tough being a fan of an organization where anything less than a championship is a failure. wah-wah. but like for instance, did anyone know or notice that the lakeshow won the pacific division sometime last month? does anyone care? no, because that ain't nothin' to shake a stick at 'round here. so you see, i'm not altogether crazy when i say that those 15 losses are a let down. but i will say this: at the beginning of the season i allotted these boys 15 losses. and i didn't care how they got them. but now they got them and have to win the rest of the season. which doesn't look like it's going to happen. especially since anyone in their right mind can so easily see that they are not about to catch the craboliers (cavaliers) for best record and losing the rest of the season isn't going to upset their #1 seeding in the west. oh well!

we made mini-cupcakes last night. gosh, they are so delicious. i had some for breakfast. they are like cupcake shots. if i knew where my camera was, i'd take a picture of them. best invention ever! it's also springtime. which means there are trees blooming all over the place. i don't think i've ever really noticed spring before. interesting.

that's pretty much the update for now, i gotta get back to writing that book!

why the midwest is different

2009-02-23T14:19:00.001-08:00

i haven't been up to much this month. just continuing to try to adjust to my surroundings, looking for furniture that will please me (a hard task), and trying to get in shape!

in backwards order: since i don't really have much of anything to do for the majority of the week - unemployed life is boring - i've been working out. i love walking down the street i live on because there is a "forest" that looks different every time i walk by/through it. and i'm waiting to see some wildlife. i'm sure to someone more familiar with nature it is not a forest, but gimme a break i grew up in orange county! plus something else i discovered, walking or jogging in cold weather is invigorating. i've been doing other stuff too. i looked up some circuit routines and have been doing those and every few days i do some yoga to stretch it out. actually i wasn't going to do the yoga but my back was killing me one morning so it just seemed like a better option and it worked like a charm!

growing up i had this bedroom furniture set. it had 13 matching pieces to it. it was a really huge deal. i don't know why but that furniture resulted in a lot of arguments between my dad and i. maybe it's simply because he and i have that same stubborn as hell personality and we can argue about anything because neither of us will accept being wrong. of course he generally won by default just because he was the parent. but i was not wrong! you cannot fit that much furniture into my tiny room. in any case, after i moved out i found i had a serious aversion for matching furniture. but you can't just have a bunch of randomly completely unmatching furniture pieces. that's weird. so i have the task of trying to find furniture that goes together but doesn't match. that is harder than it looks my friends. and you know what... i can't let it go, i'm not AS stubborn as my dad. i'm actually rather accommodating. there! just had to say that before i could move on.
anyway, i think i'm going to order some tables from ikea. i actually had the same tables when i lived in san diego. they are plain. wood laminate. and will go with anything else.

i can't order them yet because my atm card was reported stolen! that's a much longer story than i'm willing to get into right now but i still have the card in my wallet, and i am not the one who reported it stolen. so if anyone knows how that works... please fill me in. or if you want to send me those ikea tables as a gift let me know and i'll point you in the right direction. :)

this past weekend we took a quick trip to chicago to see some friends from california in concert. it's really strange to see my hometown heroes out here doing their thing and then leaving the show knowing i won't see them for a few months. maybe i need to find some local musicians to be friends with so i can roll out every week or so to one of their shows? thinking about it though, i'm not really even sure how i'd manage that. i couldn't really tell you how i became friends with those that i am friends with now. it just seems to have been a random bunch of meetings at this show or that dinner table or at so and so's party. i think i've lost the ability to make new friends. uh-oh.

what was i saying? oh, the trip to chicago. i went to chicago to see tyrone wells who you should check out. the show was really good. tyrone rarely disappoints. the next day while driving home there was a huge 4 car pile up that resulted in the unfortunate death of 2 people. it was weather related (we were trying to escape the huge storm slated for chicago that day). we ended up sitting on the highway for over 2 hours before giving up and turning around so that we could at least get some food and hopefully find a map in a gas station to get some alternate direction. here's why the midwest is different. these alternate directions had to come in the way of county roads with crossroads, no road signs, and i don't think i saw a signal light for a solid hour. when was the last time anything like that happened in southern california? i don't think i've really even seen a county road before. think about it. if you got stuck on the 10 freeway for 2 hours plus - which would never happen anyway because they'd clear the accident up in about 20 minutes flat - you'd just get off and drive down the street to the 5 or across town to the 101 or 405 depending on where you're going. not here, not on the 2 lane highway. i guess it's maybe the equivalent of getting stuck on the 15 past zzyzx road. but even then, i think they would have that cleared up in about an hour. i'm just really glad i wasn't in too much of a hurry to get anywhere at the time.

it's like a regular summer day outside

2009-02-09T14:09:00.000-08:00

for a while it was really cold, but right now, it's kinda warm. it's 62 degrees outside. i think that means i've adjusted to the temperatures out here. 62 degrees is normally when i break out all of my heavy winter wear and refuse to go outside. just two days ago i went on an hour long walk.

in an effort to tighten up our games, my roommate and i started working out. i wish i could explain this to you because i feel like it's probably pretty funny to watch. but lets just say the 4 months i spent not working out were enough for every single muscle in my body to forget how it was supposed to be used. ouch! other than the vast amounts of pizza we seem to consume (and the superbowl party food) we have been eating well. tightening up your game is not fun.

someone asked me the other day why i seem to use the phrase "tighten up your game" all of the time, and why it seems to have a bunch of different meanings. i'm not really sure why. it started out as just a general phrase referring to people who were acting a fool in public. for instance, if you were out at a bar and someone was sloppy drunk, they'd need to tighten up their game. and then somehow it started getting used in reference to actual "game" like, when you're trying to pick up a date and you "spit your game". i know a few gentlemen who need to tighten up their game if they think they're going on dates anytime soon. and now i guess it also refers to us working out? i guess you can say that by working out we are tightening up our game literally.

what else is new in bloomington... i finally got all of my clothes hung up in the closet. they are color coded. i'm not usually that neurotic about my closet but i thought it might be time for a change, plus, i had the time on my hands to get it done. i've been looking for furniture and things to go in my room but i'm so picky it's really hard to narrow it down to something i'm going to like. i'm just barely getting out of my "no furniture" phase that i was in for a few years after leaving home. the thing about not having furniture is that you can't accumulate junk. i thought i avoided that pretty well at my last apartment, but then when i was packing up to move, there was so much stuff! where did any of it come from? i didn't have stuff until i got that dang bookcase and put it up. and then the desk! so, i'm trying to avoid that as much as possible, but my roommate is convinced i'm going to move out any day now since i don't have furniture in my room.

our neighbors have a rave every single night. here's a helpful hint for them: turn down the bass. every night, without fail, we get treated to a concert. i don't know why they need to listen to their music that loudly every night beginning at 9pm. i guess we're lucky that we're not early to bed type of people, otherwise that'd be really annoying.

last night we watched the grammy's. what can i say about the grammy's? i think there is a reason i stopped watching them a while back. it's all of the random performances that they put on there. i did enjoy a few. like lil wayne and robin thicke doing "tie my hands". i saw that song on lil wayne's album when i first got it a few months ago but i thought nothing of it because lil wayne and robin thicke don't go together. i should have been listening to this song a long time ago. i like it. it's a tribute to new orleans - lil wayne's hometown. i'm not really overly emotional about new orleans and the tragedy that has been the aftermath of hurricane katrina but it's still a good song. i did not appreciate m.i.a. rockin the stage like she was a gangster pimp. first of all yesterday was her due date (yeah she's pregnant) and she had on a see through jump suit or something with small polka dot pieces of fabric covering her chest and then two larger ones that i guess were supposed to be covering her butt and stomach. it was offensive at best. and i have no clue how allison krausse and robert plant won all of those awards. it makes no sense to me, they were pretty awful. i guess at least i can be kind of thankful that kanye didn't make a complete fool out of himself... so there's that.

thats it for now i suppose... i'm just trying to figure out when i can come back to california for a visit. i wish i could bring my car back to indiana with me. it'd be helpful. so you know, if you want to know what i want for my birthday... i guess we can start a fund to bring that car to indiana!

condiments to the chef

2009-01-27T15:25:00.000-08:00

here's something of little or no importance:

when i was younger i LOVED miracle whip. there was no other choice. and then one day i woke up and hated it and i moved on to mayo. mmmm. mayo on everything. there was nothing like a sandwich with mayo dripping off of it. or dipping french fries in mayo... talk about heaven. i eventually stopped using so much of it due to the extremely high saturation effect that occurs when you eat mayo, and i begrudgingly stopped dipping my fries in it and switched to ketchup or simply eating them plain.
my roommate dips her fries in mayo with wild abandon and i found myself getting very jealous. why not start dipping again? so i did. and boy was it good, just like i remembered it! after two episodes of mayo fries i can now report that mayonnaise makes me want to vomit. i don't care if i never see the stuff again. i don't know why, or what the deal is but it makes me ill just thinking about it. yuck!

so anyway, we're back from the rock boat! as predicted we had a blast. we did not get to port at half moon cay - which was to be expected. we ate and drank and slept to our hearts content for a solid week. the weather was pretty mild. i guess for someone from the cold (indiana?) it was warm, but i hadn't been here long enough to adjust to the -2 degrees it was when we left, for the high 60's/low 70's temperatures in the carribean to be considered warm. i was right there with the rest of california shivering on the lido deck. maybe next year?
i had a chance to reconnect with some of my good friends from california. and this was the first time in i can't remember how long that curtis and i actually hung out outside of shows. well... i guess since that last san diego show i went to when we went to the bar afterwards, if we're counting that. but it was nice to sit down to formal dinner and chat with a lot of people.

hanson (mmmbop) was on the boat! before anyone says anything, they are actually really talented and i know, i know, because i'm right there with you - i wouldn't even have known they were good if i hadn't been tricked into going to their show a few years ago - but you gotta give them a chance if you're a music fan at all. they will harmonize and groove you into submission if you give them a chance. of course with hanson came a lot of crazy individuals. and i'm not generalizing because they did bring some sane people with them as well. i got to see tyrone wells (!), ernie halter, and of course curtis peoples from home. stephen kellogg & the sixers were back (and will be back next year) again. i've kind of fallen out of love with their shows. i'm not really sure i can put a finger on what it is that's missing for me but i still went to see them because i enjoy their music. i fell in love with zac brown band and a little bit of graham colton. got down with gaelic storm, finally checked out sister hazel, and confirmed that i do not like michael tolcher's music, all in 5 short days. i'd say that's pretty productive.
there was a mild malaise about them showing barry's inauguration on the big screen but they did it anyway. he's the president of the freakin united states of america. i'm going to be completely honest... if it had been the inauguration of john mccain i wouldn't have watched it but i would have been a little at odds if they chose NOT to broadcast it. for the record we slept through inauguration due to a long long night that ended about an hour before they started things in d.c. but we've got it dvr'd here at the condo.

when we got back here it was cold, but not too terribly awful. today is another story. it's currently 21 degrees, it's been snowing all day, i heard sleet, and the forecast i'm looking at says it's raining but i think it's too cold for actual raindrops to be falling down from the sky. the tragic side to this is that there is no food to eat and it's not the kind of weather you go trotting down to the store in. there is just ramen. i like ramen, i really do, but i ate marshmallows today for my only meal because i'd rather starve than force down another packet of ramen. it's great, we'll just consider this a cleanse/fast to get all of the rock boat abundance out of my system. hopefully the weather clears up (and i get house keys) before malnutrition sets it. so this is what seasons are all about?

pictures (slightly delayed), and a vacation reminder

2009-01-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

right off the bat i apologize for taking so long to get pictures taken and uploaded... i was trying to wait until it was clean but we kept neglecting to pick up a broom. now everything is pretty much as it should be and i have photographs. i was also sort of waiting for it to snow outside for dramatic effect.

so, as i sit here watching the lakers trying really hard to give the spurs a win (kind of how the c*ltics let the lakers win on christmas day - except not really because lakers vs. c*ltics is something completely different than lakers vs. geriatric spurs), here is a "virtual tour" of my condo in indiana. (it may take a minute for the entire page to load - sorry!)

this was taken from the front door, looking straight in. we need some bar stools to go right past the couch. funny, yet true story... my roommate's sister aimee lived here before we did, and she warned us about the neighbor being a touch on the rude side. when the guys were here delivering the couches we had the front door wide open for obvious reasons. she invites herself into our doorway and starts asking who lives here. sarah and i are both in the kitchen and answer that we both live here. she of course needs to know our names and a wealth of other information but doesn't bother using a polite voice at all. all the while the delivery guys are standing right behind her with the couch just waiting politely. sarah asked them to take her back with them because she didn't order the old lady.

this is if you're standing at the front door and looking left. yep, that's a ceiling fan (yes!) and the half cracked open door is the guest bathroom downstairs. perfect for when your cable guy shows up 4 hours later than his 12-2pm window and wants to use your potty. oh yes, yes he did.

here we have the kitchen from the corner over where the washer/dryer is. electric range, microwave, dishwasher, pretty standard. that sliding door off to the right is the pantry which has little to no food in it currently. mostly because we're trying to hold off on grocery shopping before we go on a week long vacation. more on that later.

okay, it was really difficult to get a shot of my bathroom just because it's shaped weird and the door is angled. but here is part of it...

and here's the other part of it. it's a fair size for a bathroom, i have no complaints, other than not having storage for linens, but i guess it doesn't matter, i keep the extra towels in my closet. it's a master suite afterall.
i put up some hooks to hang some stuff on since i'm so opposed to dressers. and for the record i hung them unevenly on purpose. i promise.

here is what it looks like outside my bedroom window, first when the snow begins to fall and then after it has been falling for about 2 or 3 hours. good times!

so those are my pictures that i neither bothered to resize nor touch up because i'm kind of in a rush. you see, tomorrow morning (very very very early) my roommate and i are off to miami! and then onto our glorious rock boat - the world's greatest floating music festival. this year aboard the carnival destiny. leaving from miami and headed towards nassau and then half moon cay. one solid week of tropical weather before we return to the "arctic cold" promised to the midwest!!

see ya all in a week,
sc

i am here!

2009-01-09T22:33:00.000-08:00

just a quick update.. i'll be back later this weekend with pictures though.

i made it! i flew in wednesday night. there's a brand new airport in indianapolis, it's quite nice. anyone coming to visit me will like it, it reminds me a lot of ontario. lots of windows. the flight was no problem... delayed a few minutes because of some passengers almost missing the connection in vegas, but there was ice all over the ground here in indiana so it took my roommate a while to get to the airport to pick me up and it all worked out in the end.

i had my first experience with snow blowing in my face as i was trying to walk. that was really annoying because i keep panicking internally thinking i'm going to slip on a patch of ice and break something. i'm sure i'm overreacting but you can never be too safe! it hasn't been as cold as i think i thought it was going to be out here. i don't know if it's going to stay this "warm" or not, but i'm surviving so far. it was 43 tonight when we ran out to pick some stuff up really quick.

our condo is very cute (that's what the pictures will be of). it's a little off the beaten path but EVERYTHING anyone could possibly need to get to is all in the same spot right up the road. target, the grocer, fast food (panera bread), borders books, and the fedex store just to name a few. the stuff i shipped to myself arrived today, and our kitchen is pretty much complete but if anyone wants to be friendly and buy us a toaster or a blender we'd be more than willing to accept. it seems like everytime we turn around there's something else that needs to be purchased. i bought 40 hangers at target the other day and i still need more. how is this possible? i thought i threw away most of my clothes?
i do need quite a bit of stuff for my room, just to make it look like i live here and not like i'm visiting. perhaps i'll make a list of stuff i'd like so everyone can start planning accordingly... my birthday isn't that far away ya know :) i'm kidding, i'm kidding.

i'm mostly adjusted to the time difference. my last few weeks in california i'd been going to bed somewhere around 3 am. so, while it may seem like i'm staying up late here when i'm staring at the walls as the clock ticks 4 a.m., i'm not really that far off. i think a few more days might just do the trick. they say it's 1 day per time zone skipped. but then, we leave on our cruise and i'll be all whacked out from not sleeping for almost an entire week. crazy. i'll get my circadian sleep rhythm settled soon enough.

i've got a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow while my roommate is at work. after i clean, i'll take those pictures and put them up.

stuff i know i'm gonna miss

2008-12-27T21:08:00.000-08:00

so far this holiday season i've been made fun of, multiple people have questioned my sanity and as the day gets closer - the day being january 7th - i've come across about a hundred things i know i'm going to miss about dear dear california.

1 - yes i'm still moving
2 - yes i'm sane
3 - I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT TO DO
4 - i'm coming back

now the things i'm going to miss and i'm sure there'll be more to come later on.
~ my aunt lucy's (pronounced aint lucy) macaroni and cheese
~ beach days in december/january even though i'm afraid of the pacific ocean because it's filthy
~ claiming the 714 area code and the 619 as my home away from home
~ driving down the highway and seeing the mountains covered in "fresh powder"
~ the block (at orange for you out of towners)
~ in n out
~ del taco at 4 am
~ san diego
~ the l.a. concert scene even though it pisses me off
~ traffic - weird i know
~ palm trees
~ "storm watch" only being about a couple of inches of water falling from the sky
~ dallas raines

yeaaaaaaah... i'm missing a lot of those already and i haven't even left yet, that's some seriously good living. something like 11 days and counting until it's all just a memory. scary. yet oh so exciting.

and by the way for my friends who are coming here to check on me, i promise there'll be funny stuff like you're used to reading from me, once i'm bitterly cold and alone in the midwest. don't worry.

if i leave town, would you leave with me?

2008-12-07T16:51:00.000-08:00

welcome everybody. you can keep track of my adventures with weather - since we all know i'm a big baby when it comes to anything outside of 70 degrees - by visiting here once a week or so. hey, visit every day if you feel so inclined. but i can't promise i'll have anything to say every day. just a warning.

a few things:
*i don't capitalize because i think i'm special. i like e.e. cummings' style, what can i say?
*i'll try to keep my language in check for the more *mature* audience, but sorry in advance if i slip.
*i often misuse words because they sound nice in sentences. i'm not dumb, it's just fun. i'll try to keep that in check as well... but i'm a creature of habit.
*if you want to comment just click down below where it says "people are warmer" et voila... type to your hearts content, and i'll get back to you as long as you leave your name. so simple right?

and now, a simple copy/paste job from what i posted to my friends on myspace a few weeks ago:
i'm moving. out of the great state of california.

right now i can't sleep and i've already heard one too many times, "oh my god you didn't tell me you're moving!". if you feel like you want to say that to me, let me assure you, i haven't told anyone. there are a few people who know because they've tried to make plans with me and i had to tell them its a no-go, but honestly i haven't really announced it or anything.

at the end of the summer, i went to the midwest for a visit. chicago captured my attention like no other city in the united states ever has. it's a beautiful city and i didn't even see half of it. more than just that city though, there was the whole vibe in the midwest. the part thats not so much west coast hurry and definitely not east coast snobbery... the midwest just...
i like the unrushed traffic, the endless miles of nothing on the highway, the general laissez-faireness of it all... the midwest just...
je ne sais quoi.

it's somewhere i need to be for a while. the perfect place to recollect my life after letting it run so horribly awry. no, i'm not running from my problems, i don't have any problems - not like that. i'm just leaving their lingering sentiments behind. i love california, i really do. but i feel the need to break away from whats my comfort and do things that don't look like they make a lot of sense. and for a california girl at heart that means leaving the warm coastal breeze of a beach day in january and figuring out how to deal with snow on the ground. nope, that snow isn't going to go away when i get on a plane and go back home, i am home! trust me, i know i'm going to cry like a little bitch, and wish i could take it all back, but if not just for having the right to say 'i've lived through that and california is better' then maybe i'll learn a few things about life while i'm there. i want to see the leaves change colors. i want to wear a scarf for warmth not fashion. i want to have a reason to put on closed toed shoes. i want to party in a corn field with a tattered recliner on the bed of someones truck. i want to drive down a dark windy road that only has state numbers and no name. i want to watch saturday night live not saturday night tape delayed. i want to go on a roadtrip and after twelve hours of driving be in a different state. i want to have one or maybe two airports to fly in/out of but not five. i want a tropical vacation in january to actually be a change of pace.

one of my other reasons for moving has to do with the past two years. i've learned a lot about the world; it keeps on spinning even if you can't or won't. about other people; they will let you down if you let them. and about myself; i'm old enough to know better. i've spun out of control, reached rock bottom, and come back to relative peace in that short amount of time. but there's so much more i can, should, and want to learn. i guess i'm curious like a cat, that's why my friends call me whiskers. i suppose my aunt was right when she called me a gypsy. staying in one place was never for me and as sentimental as i'm trying not to get over san diego, orange county and los angeles - my stomping grounds - it's still a little sad.
one thing i want to make completely clear. I'M COMING BACK. this isn't some move for a lifetime sort of thing. i'm coming back. i might make a pit stop in d.c. ::crosses fingers:: or chicago or new orleans, i might be 35 or married, i might be broke or alone, but california is home to me.